Nannette's 64th Birthday

Today is Nannette's 64th birthday. She's been on my mind lately.

With the recent earthquake in Hatti, I'm reminded that she was a nurse and although she never did get the chance to volunteer I can picture her lending a hand there. Nurses in California have started a Send a Nurse Campaign to send nurses there to help.

I've also been thinking about how much she loved animals and how it was my fondness for Angus that largely led me to get a Bearded Collie for my family. Hobbit will be two tomorrow and we sure have enjoyed him and he is a big part of our family.

The past year has been kind of tough, it would be nice to be able to talk through some of the things on my mind with her. It might not have made a difference but there is always something reassuring about being able to talk to your mom. I haven't been able to do the kind of writing nor the quantity that I would have liked, but sometimes life takes you in directions that none of us ever would have planned, so I'm hoping that this ride won't disappoint.

You can see in the picture above that Grandpa is pretty young, Heather is even still a baby. How long ago that was!

I'm sorry that I don't have anything really spectacular to write this year, but I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and Happy Birthday, Mom.

Dad's Heart Attack

In October Dad had a heart attack and on October 16^th he underwent a double by-pass operation. He has since gone home and appears to be recovering alright. I flew to Michigan for a week so that I could be there, so I was able to spend some time with him and Nicole, Heather, and their kids.

I was really surprised to hear that he had a heart attack. Christmas ten years ago he had to have stints put in, but he had done a lot to watch what he ate and did a lot to be active, so I think that most of us were caught off-guard.

As Thanksgiving was just last week, Dad’s operation and recovery were right at the top of the list of things that I’m thankful for. I really enjoyed his visit this past April/May. We did some nice trips and he got to spend some time getting to know the girls. I thought that I would take this chance to post a few pictures.

Grandpa's 90th Birthday

Grandpa would have celebrated is 90^th birthday this past May. I had thought about this earlier in the year and then was busy with the visit of Dad and Aunt Betty and I forgot it when the time rolled along. I wanted to post this before the year ended, my apologies for the lateness.

In high school I did a speech about the person I most admire and I’ll give you three guesses who that was. I remember growing up how I was always excited about seeing Grandma and Grandpa. Since we didn’t always see them every year, it was a big deal to me when we did see them, weather they came to see us or it as one of those times that we were able to get out and see them. I remember how I used to love to get those type-written letters from Grandpa. One that stood out was one that he wrote in one of my birthday cards. The part that stood out was a paragraph that started out with “Unless…” which went on to describe how they were going to pay us a visit, if everything worked out alright (which it did). I was so excited reading that part of the letter that I proudly showed it to Mom and Dad. I remember that we lived in Livonia at the time and Aunt DeeAnn and her family came as well (what a nice Christmas that was).

I remember the summer of 1979 that I got to spend a month with Grandma and Grandpa. I got to go fishing with Grandpa and Ray (he really loved fishing!). I even got to go night fishing one time. I got to go with Grandpa on a couple of his overnight trips visiting his customers. I saw how his customers really liked and admired him. I even remember being scared that I would have to eat opossum and collard greens by one of his customers, it turns out that they were only joking with me but it sure had be going. I went with him several times to his AA club. I mistakenly asked if Mr. Pibb was some kind of beer (actually it was similar to Dr. Pepper). I remember that he introduced me to Earl Campbell’s brother (Earl was a running back with the Houston Oilers football team)

Grandpa was a super air conditioning salesman. I remember hearing that he had actually been salesman of the year at Coleman. Because he travelled a lot and was relocated several times, his family lived in several different states. I think that it showed a lot about his character that he was able to make a successful career at Western Air after leaving Coleman. I think that it is safe to say that he was a natural born salesman. Several years ago I received a miniature Coleman lantern filled with cologne and I usually think of Grandpa when I use it. I remember his Coleman coolers and lanterns. I saw a short story about Coleman on television the other day and thought of him.

Having moved down to Dallas to go to the University of North Texas, I was able to spend a lot of time with Grandpa. I was able to be there when he celebrate his 36th year of sobriety. I was also able to see him quit smoking. I remember how he used to chew that nicaratte gum and put the finished gum in his ash tray when he was done. He was very proud that he did quit smoking and often said that it was harder than when he quite drinking (I was pretty proud of him myself). When Grandpa would ask me to do something he would often say that if I did so and so he would dance at my wedding, to which I would reply that I planned on holding him to that! Unfortunately, Grandpa’s health had gotten worse not long before I graduate from U.N.T., so I know that he was proud to be able to attend my graduation.

Grandpa was a huge fan of the Cowboys, Rangers, Mavericks and I would imagine he might even be following the Stars from above now a days. Mom told us of the story about how he was so into one of the games that he didn’t notice that his armchair was on fire!

Grandpa was a straight shooter, Harry Truman style. Mom used to say that Truman was the last Democrat that he voted for, but I do know that he did vote for Ann Richards when she lost to W. I used to love to hear him tell his stories (even the ones that you had already heard a million times). When I look at Grandpa’s generation (and many other older people) for that matter, they have qualities and traits that seem to be lost to the generations that have followed, things it would be good to seem come back.

Grandpa was a great man and deeply loved by his family. I hope that you had a wonderful 90^th birthday. I miss you.

Sixth Anniversary of Nannette's Passing

September 11, 2007 marks the 6^th anniversary of Mom’s passing. As the days have become years and time continues to march on, the pain and sadness associated with my loss and out loss becomes less and less and we don’t think of her as often as we did, life does go on. A while back Christine told me how after her father died that while all the pain and feelings she felt weren’t fun, the intensity made her feel close to her father and remember more. That is something that has stayed with me. Of course we all know that time heals all wounds (or so it is said) and that the intensity of our loss can’t stay as strong as it was.

After Mom died, I thought of her very often. In our culture men are discouraged from crying and often from showing their emotions. In this sense I have always kept a lot of things to myself and not really been overly emotional, not that I didn’t (and don’t) feel things, just that I don’t display it a whole lot. My point here is that for the longest time it didn’t take much to bring me to the verge of tears, maybe I even had a few, when something made me think of Mom. In the first few years after she died, this happened very often and now I find that it doesn’t happen so often.

Music has always been a big part of my life, I think that this goes back to when I sang Don McClean’s “American Pie” non-stop on our cross-country family trip to Phoenix for Aunt DeeAnn’s wedding. When Anna-Katharina was born I had my first experience where a song actually gave me goose bumps and brought tears to my eyes. I had enjoyed Creed’s “Open Arms” for a couple of years prior to her birth but driving to the hospital after she was born and listening to it in the car, it suddenly had a whole different effect than it had in the past, now I was experiencing the song as a new proud father and related to it on a whole different level. Thinking further I remember how we all cried at Mom’s funeral when we heard the bag piper play “Brave Scotland”, but considering how funerals are generally sad and there are often people crying, maybe this isn’t such a surprise. For people that weren’t there it might be hard to imagine that scene, or maybe they can easily relate. Also at the funeral I heard Enya’s “Only Time”. I had heard that song many times before that and in fact Mom really liked her. After that anytime that I heard that song I would think of Mom. Before Christine and I moved to Germany, we visited Mom and Dad twice in Henderson. On our last evening we saw the Fountains of the Beligio and as the fountains danced for the last time in one of the sets we heard Andre Bocelli and Sarah Brightman singing “Time to Say Goodbye”. So this was us saying goodbye to Las Vegas, America, and to Mom. I have often thought of the day that we left Las Vegas that Easter time. I have never been someone that is big on goodbyes and I usually try to stop people from being sad, because in my mind it only makes saying goodbye all that harder. I was busy getting ready to leave and hadn’t really thought too much about the goodbye part and as we were leaving and I saw Mom at the door and how sad she was and then I became real sad. I don’t know if she was thinking it at that moment, but I believe that she was, that this was the last time that I would see her. At the time it hadn’t occurred to me that this was really the last time that I would see her. I think that in the back of my mind I was still thinking that I would see her again. I wonder sometimes if I had realized prior to that moment that this would be the last time, would I have done or said anything different?

I remember getting the call from Dad and he said that Mom wasn’t doing too well and that now would be the time to come. I booked a flight to Vegas but it wasn’t scheduled till the next week I believe. I was at work on September 11^th and Christine called me, she said that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and that I should come home right then. I certainly had no idea about the gravity of the situation at that point and hadn’t seen the coverage on television at that point. When I was driving home I turned on the local AFN (Armed Forces Network) radio station and they were carrying the NPR radio coverage. By this time the second plane had hit. It was now that the magnitude of what had happened started to sink in. I walked into our apartment and Christine was waiting for me at the door. I had seen that she had been crying and was sad, but my first thought was of the planes hitting the World Trade Center. As she said that Dad had called, I sensed that she was going to tell me that Mom had passed away. Since the television was on CNN International, it wasn’t too long before I saw the awful footage that most of the world has seen at least once (in not a million times since then) and at that point the September 11^th Attacks and Mom’s death were now forever connected in my mind. There are many things that happen in life that we don’t understand and for which we believe that there must be a reason. Since Mom had been a nurse, it was somehow comforting to think that God needed her to help with all the victims of that day. For me every time that I hear September 11^th or 911, I can’t help but think of Mom. For the first few years, this event was mentioned so often and even now it is still spoken of quite often.

For much of my life I have been interested in writing and it is a way that I can express myself. For this reason I think that I have found myself drawn to blogging. While I would certainly like to think that what I have written is being read, to be honest, most of it probably isn’t, but that isn’t why I write. Giving myself the opportunity to remember Mom and just knowing that my words are in cyber space is comforting. Keeping this blog is one of my ways of keeping Mom’s memory alive.

The photos that I have posted are from Nicole and Heather's weddings in 1995. I recently scanned these in honor of this event. As we approach the sixth anniversary of September 11th, I hope that you'll join me in Remembering Nannette.

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